Confirmed

I am discovering that it is very difficult to talk about my brother’s death.  First, he is my brother and death is so strange and foreign.  But also because I am a “pastor” and pastors are supposed to have all the right answers.  But I don’t.  I only know how to rest in God’s mercy.  Blogging is becoming a very real means of grace to me right now.  If you get tired of reading about my grief I understand.  Please feel free not to read.

The divers just found his body about 15 minutes ago and so now the reality of his death is sinking in.  I find grieving to be a place of strange paradox – almost nothing makes sense.  At the same time I realize that my brother’s death changes absolutely nothing in my life – Monday mornings will still be Monday mornings, Sundays will still come and I will still have the same responsibilities.  On the other hand, everything is different.  I know I’ll come to a place of acceptance but in some strange way life has a little of its glow.  Perhaps that’s okay.  Maybe the Holy Spirit will replace it.  I don’t know.

I know I have never missed my brother as much as I do right now.

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5 thoughts on “Confirmed

  1. My mind screams – “NO…..NO NO NO!”

    My heart is breaking for you, the tears keep coming.

    All I know is that some very special people in my life are grieving ~ experiencing profound sadness. Nothing I can say will make it better. I’m sorry.

    Please remember we all love YOU and all your family and will remain in prayer for each of you.

    ~Momma, Mark and kids

  2. I’m so sorry George. Losing someone you know and love is a terrible thing to go through. Especially in such a tragic way. I learned/realized a few tidbits of information while hosting the griefshare group. What I remember most is that everyone seems to go on with life while yours is in a strange limbo. You notice people laughing and smiling and just living life and you feel anger because you feel they should all be still grieving with you. I have an understanding how you might feel George. I lost both my brother & sister in a tragic car accident at it left me an only child. I hated it and I still hate it.
    If reaching out to people who share similiar experiences might be helpful, I’m here.

  3. George,
    Our family joins you in prayer for you and family. May the God of heaven, so abundant in grace reach His hand into the King family that they may know Him. May His peace comfort you and give you rest. Lord, draw us ever closer to You for Your will.

    The Trier’s

  4. Oh George, Crystal and babies,
    We are aching for you and holding you in prayer. Please know that we care so much for you and what you are going through as you say your goodbyes to Kody and share time with your family in Anchorage. God give you everything you need, minute by minute. All of the Kings are in our prayers.

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