Making Allowance

No, not that kind of allowance. Although, some days, especially when the bills come rolling in, I’d like to have some extra allowance. I’m talking about the kind of allowance that allows one to assign the best possible motives to someone else’s actions.

Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. – Colossians 3:13

I’ve been on both ends of the situation and can attest that neither end is great.  When friends hold faults against one another there are no winners, only scars.  Recently I experienced the painful reality of not having my faults forgiven and having my motives assigned the worst possible offense.  Now, I admit that this whole thing began some months ago when I failed to make allowance for a friend’s offenses against me.  I made some decisions in anger and never corrected them.  In fact, I simply forgot about them but they were not forgotten.  I should have forgiven.  I should have made allowance.

Fast forward to the present, add to those faults suspicion and lack of good communication, and viola, you have a broken relationship based on assigning the worst possible of motives and failure to make allowance for one another’s faults.

Now, in healthy relationships, in true friendships, friends can sit down with each other and sort through things.  Believing the best about your friend is the only sure way forward.

The truth is, none of us is perfect and we have all done so much relational harm – knowingly and unknowingly – that none of us deserves to be forgiven.  But God, who has done nothing wrong, forgave us.  If God can forgive us then why would we not forgive each other.

I guess such lessons need to be learned.  However, be warned that they come with a high price and often the loss of meaningful relationships.


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